Social Media

For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.” (Matthew 18:20 NLT) I find that social media makes us lazy. Sure you can find people from the past, you wouldn’t ordinarily be able to catch up with, but we don’t need to make much of an effort to stay in touch with people. We can read their statuses, look at their pictures, and read their profile section. So before you know it, you haven’t actually talked to that person in months and years. You know where they are and what they are doing, but you haven’t really had a meaningful connection with them. When tragedy struck a good friend of mine from a long time ago, it really hit me hard. I felt helpless and I suppose that’s the usual feeling people get when a friend or loved one is affected by painful circumstances. I thought of times, where I had coffee with friends to chat and lend an ear, or brought over food. What do you do in a situation where you haven’t talked to someone in so long? It’s not only awkward, but at that point, they have other go-to people. Not that I need to be a person’s go-to person, but it’s knowing that you are so far uninvolved in someone’s life is the sad part. So I kind of sat there in my memories of the past and feeling bad for lack of connection with meaningful people of my past. And not just my friend who suffered a loss, I thought of other people I had lost touch with or haven’t been making a big effort to stay in contact with. There’s something so superficial about posting on someone’s wall or sending them a private message. It’s not the same as sitting right in front of them and having a cup of coffee with them. Or calling them on the phone. Laughing and crying with someone. How healing is it to just laugh with a good friend? There’s not enough LOL’s and emoticons out there to provide the same feeling you have from a face to face or phone call with a friend or family member. Just has it says in Matthew 18, when two or three of His followers are gathered, "I am there among them." How cool is that? What a blessing it is to bask in His presence. Which is probably why you feel so refreshed when you meet up with a good friend. As my daughter would say, "get out of your phone (or computer)" and go and meet a friend in person. You won't be disappointed.

The Dreaded Early Mornings

Let’s just be honest, I’m not a morning person. I’m grumpy, groggy and it takes me awhile to get that brain a moving. In fact, I think my sister would attest to a time when she got her overly chipper morning self in my face to taunt me while I was pouting about having to be awake, that I slapped her. Oops, kids will be kids? So that’s why whenever I would hear someone talk about their morning God time, I cringe. Oh how bad I feel. I’ve tried many a times to get up early and do that early morning start your day with Jesus routine, it’s just never worked. I’m fighting to keep my eyes open and an hour and sometimes even 10 minutes later, I have totally forgotten everything I just read. Pray instead? Yeah, I fell asleep once trying to do that. So I finally decided to try lunch Jesus time and it was wonderful. Oh how relaxed and peaceful I was the rest of the afternoon. Then busyness overtook me. Lunch times became soccer mom and career woman time. With a child in preschool now, I spend most of my free time carting her back and forth between school and daycare. Other days, I’m attending lunch meetings for community outreach programs I volunteer for. Nights consist of family time, laundry, dinner making, cleaning, and so on. Then I started becoming pretty dedicated to my health and fitness. Which was starting to become another thing to fit into my already insane schedule. So here we are back to the early morning thing. I felt God telling me to work out in the mornings. Really? Because to make it work to exercise in the mornings to get home to help get the kids and myself ready, means 5 am? I couldn’t even do 6:00 am quiet time. I decided to try it. I have to admit, the alarm is my enemy and getting out of bed that early is not easy. I literally have everything set up and ready to go, clothes, water, head phones, gym bag, car keys, etc, so I can get every last minute of sleep I can. My alarm goes off, I throw my clothes on, grab my gym bag, water, keys and head out. But the most important part, I come home, I curl up on the couch in my silent home with a cup of coffee and read devotionals or my bible. The difference this time? The exercise not only is good for me, it wakes me up, gives me energy. It’s not a lot of time before the morning rush begins, but God makes the time stand still. My day (especially the once dreaded mornings) are smooth and peaceful. God equips me with what I need for my day.

Just Getting By

Most mothers probably hear me when I say, I just do what I can do to get by. I personally feel in awe of working moms who can work 40 hours and still keep their house intact. I am a little bit as you go type of girl. In other words, I get home, I do the essentials: cooking, kids, etc and then I try the cleaning and organizing. And I do enjoy my free time, a girl has to have some relaxation time. The problem with this method is any deviation causes massive chaos. For instance, I went to a weekend retreat, I was busy beforehand and I was gone for two nights. My house is a disaster zone. Laundry everywhere, dishes stacked up, mail overflowing my coffee table, and my intimidation grows. Yeah sure, the "little here little there" approach works on a daily basis, but when you get distracted or deviate from that plan, the train completely derails. You were just getting by before, so now you are completely off course. As with our faith walk, you have to keep on a consistent and reliable path, always being sensitive on what The Lord wants from you. Any deviation from from your path that isn't God ordained could seriously derail the delicate system. A little here a little there on your bible study, could mean the difference on succeeding or failing during temptation. God equips us for battle, so we don't want to take this lightly. His word readies our internal army. Take His training seriously.

Arm Yourself for Battle

Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. (Ephesians 6:11-13 NLT) It's been a particularly rough few days with the news of Sandy Hook and tragedy close to home. I feel like I have been crying or fighting back tears non-stop. We live in a world of sin with a devil ready to bounce on our weaknesses and prey on our insecurities. How interesting The Lord lead me to these verses. In such dark times, we cannot ignore the existence of the devil. He is real and he is out to destroy us. That is why God instructs us to put on our armor. Prepare yourself for battle everyday. Get in the Word and get on your knees. Darkness shall not prevail and will not win. Don't let the enemy steal your joy. Do not let the devil make you cower in fear. You have the Lord's army on your side. For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. (2 Timothy 1:7 NLT) In the name of Jesus, I urge you! Fight back!

What I Wish I Would Been Told

I have been thinking about this a lot, because of the latest topic at Wings and a few other instances. This is to all my ladies, who have been there or are there currently. This is not going to be easy to hear, but I wish someone would have told me these lessons.

When I was in my late teens, early 20s, I had the "savior" complex. So I was great at choosing the wrong guys, because I was going to "fix" them, I was going to get them to see the light...

There is many problems with settling... yes, settling. First, you will never "fix" a person. As many redeeming and good qualities you might see in that person, if they don't know they are "broken" they will not want to be fixed. And who do you think you are? Do you possibly think you are capable of what only God can do? Do you think you can cure, alcoholism, drug use, the tendency to stray and so on? Take it from me, when I say, these red flags, are something you should run away from. This person might have good qualities and great potential, but God never intended for you to wait for that person to catch up. God will work on that person's heart, in His timing, not yours. God has someone perfect for you, who doesn't have serious flags... I'm not saying be super picky... you also can't cure a slob, but that's not a reason to throw an otherwise good guy to the curb.

Another important lesson is, there's a reason why your loved ones (i.e. friends and family) don't care for the person you are with... They love you, they care for you and they know you. They want what's best for you. They aren't being necessarily difficult, they just don't want you to settle. Been there, done that... when you do find the right person, they will like him.

Never, ever, fall into the trap of lowering your values to be with someone. If you find yourself doing stuff, you never thought you would do, sinning and so on, because you think you will "connect" better with that person, that maybe they will think you are cool and relate. That doesn't work, you might start "relating" with that person, but before you know it, you are the one changing and you forget to witness to that person. A great analogy I heard after I learned the hard way, was imagine yourself standing on a chair with someone directly below you. Try and pull the person below you up onto the chair... hard isn't it? Now have the person on the floor pull you off the chair... simple, huh? It's so easy to fall onto the wrong path.

I am not saying to not witness to people who are on the wrong path, but getting too close (dating them) is never a good idea. God never intended for you to fall from Him in order to save another. Remember God has to prepare this person, change this person's heart. If it's not their time, they won't be ready. So ultimately not ready for you. Plant the seed, then let God do the rest. God has a wonderful person out there for you, who you don't have to compromise your beliefs for, and who will help grow your faith, not hinder it.

Do not settle, wait for God to move in your life.

Goodbye- Final Part

I had a journal entry I wrote while waiting to fly home after visiting my uncle the last time. I thought I would at some point type it up and share. Honestly, I haven't even brought myself to open it up and read it. Maybe later, but for now, I will keep it sealed up.

Instead for my final entry on my Goodbye series, I'm going to focus on lessons I've learned from loved ones past. It was interesting in reading in Francis Chan's Crazy Love about a 14 year old girl who died and the impact she had on her friends and family. It made me ponder what I wanted people to remember about me when I died.

It's funny how the more deep the impacts people make on you the older you get. For instance, my memories of my Grandma Cram are so not very deep as I could give you for my Grandma Spencer. But then they died approximatley 15 years apart from each other. So time and age play a factor.

The memories I take of my Grandma Cram is service. She was always serving someone whether it was serving food or helping someone out. Her heart was one of caring service.

The memory I take from my Grandpa Spencer is joy. There was something so joyful about his demeanor. He just made you smile.

The lesson I learned from my Grandpa Cram is sticking up for people. He might not have been graceful with this, but he wasn't going to take someone messing with his loved ones. I find myself sticking up for the underdog a lot. Fighting the good fight.

My memory of my Grandma Spencer is determination. I will never forget how she took a pamphlet from a Jehovah's Witness, just so she could study the pamphlet and then studied her bible, because she was determined to debate with them the next time they showed up.

I hope someday that my loved ones can pick out some good traits of mine and hold on to those lessons after I die. The legacy we leave is up to us.

In loving memory of my grandparents and my uncle. May they all rest in peace.

Goodbye Part 2

I was listening to Pandora the other day and a Joshua Radin song came on. The first part talks about sad things like Hurricane Katrina and so on and wondering if things will ever be better again. It ends with this.

But I look at you, warm in your dream
While your mobile dances above
And I think to myself
It’s a beautiful night
And I know everything
Is gonna be alright
Yes now I know It’ll be alright.

Circle of life… no wonder Haylie brightens all sad days… It puts life into perspective. One lfe ends and new ones begin. Life goes on and on. We'll never forget our loved ones who've left us. Put we surge on and hold onto our memories.

God blesses those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5: 4

More to come....