Helicopter Mom

I recently had my first run in with a bully in the form of a 4 year old. Ok, I digress, she wasn't really a bully, but it was more the revelation that my two year old will have run ins with bullies in her life. Despite the fact that I think she is the sweetest and most precious child, someone will hurt her. The other night at daycare as I was picking up my daughter, Haylie, she comes running to me with supreme excitement waving a coloring page at me, “Mommy I color, I color!” She had the cutest smile on her face as she launched into my arms at put the page in my face. “Oh Haylie, that’s beautiful, good job!” I said kissing her and setting her down. Enters the 4 year old, who always has something to say to me, “That’s not coloring, that’s just scribbles.” Fortunately Haylie not only wouldn’t understand the derogatory undertones, she was busy looking for her shoes. I was little taken aback, I'm not going to lie… what does it matter, she’s 2 and she’s happy about it? The lioness threatened to roar and protect her little cub, but Jesus threatened, "Lisa, she is four, behave yourself!!" Ok, so Jesus is gentle, I'm sure it was more, "Lisa...remember she is only 4, show her love, not anger." So I just softly said, “That’s ok!” with a smile and went on quietly putting Haylie’s shoes on and grabbing her bag. It’s funny that a child could do that to an adult, Haylie was completely unaffected and continued to be in the best mood all night, but then she’s generally a super happy child. As I think about this moment, I’m sad. Sad, because after talking to another mom who takes her kids there, her daughter was singled out by this girl’s cousin for wearing a shirt to close together, “You’re wearing that shirt again?!” It makes me think of that movie, Mean Girls... and yes, I'm not fibbing, I really haven't seen it. I'm not just saying that, because it would be embarassing to admit it, I honestly haven't seen it, but I totally get the concept. Really, 4 year olds are already acting like snotty teenagers? Since when did mean girls start this early? Was I unaware of this growing up or did this not happen when I was young? And I’m sad, because what kind of parents do these girls have? Do they show them love? Do they teach them how to be nice? It sucks that Haylie will have to go through this, but it’s life, and it's my part in this depressing part of growing up, to teach Haylie that no matter what anyone says or does, that is not who she is. God loves her and He created her to be loving and be a light. I hope my example and my teaching will show her that to be God’s servant you have to stand out and just plain be nice despite the circumstances. To turn the other cheek. May God hold me back when I want to be the helicopter mom, a term I will steal from my good friend, Jenn. The type of mom that swoops in and tries to fix everything and protect them from pain.

Journey of Healing

Our suffering is not meaningless because God has a plan.
- From Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner by Wendy Blight

I cannot tell you how many times, I read that above quote. How many times have you wanted to bury the deep hurts and move on? I know I have, but it doesn't work, does it? You try to plow forward, but that past smacks you in the face every time. That is unless you surrender it to God and let Him carry it for you. 

So that brings up another question, a plan for my suffering? What good could possibly come from this plan? I think healing in our pain comes in layers. How many layers? I'm sure there can be less or more depending on the situation and your ability to hand it over to God, but here are a few I have experienced: forgiveness, acceptance, and sharing.

I truly think it would be hard to forgive yourself or someone else if you didn't accept the situation first. If it's already happened, being in denial will surely not help you. Denial will make your life stagnant, you won't move forward. Accept what has happened, cry if you must, no one said you weren't allowed to cry. Then it's time to forgive. Forgive your offender, so God can work on his/her life. God will deal with that person, but if you keep getting in His way, nothing will ever change in your life and that's what is important. And every time that hurt boils up, ask for help from God, you might have to forgive multiple times, and you most definitely will need God's help to find the peace to get past it.

Next comes "spiritual" sharing which is where someone can gain insight and help from your experience. Whether it's one on one or on a grand scale. Letting someone else know what happened, ultimately is healing. Believe it or not, you are not alone. Someone else has been there and if you are in a good place about it, it's time to share, because you can help others with your revelations from God! And that, my friend, is the most powerful level of healing!

If your revelation hadn't delighted me so,
      I would have given up when the hard times came.
   But I'll never forget the advice you gave me;
      you saved my life with those wise words.
   Save me! I'm all yours.
      I look high and low for your words of wisdom.
   The wicked lie in ambush to destroy me,
      but I'm only concerned with your plans for me.
Psalm 119:92-95 (The Message)

God has a beautiful plan for the suffering and trials you have been through. If you let Him, God will take you on a journey of healing that will take that pain and turn into something more meaniful than you could have ever imagined. As the above verse states, God's revelations will save your life! God bless you in your journey and I'd love to talk to you if you need some encouragement!