Helicopter Mom

I recently had my first run in with a bully in the form of a 4 year old. Ok, I digress, she wasn't really a bully, but it was more the revelation that my two year old will have run ins with bullies in her life. Despite the fact that I think she is the sweetest and most precious child, someone will hurt her. The other night at daycare as I was picking up my daughter, Haylie, she comes running to me with supreme excitement waving a coloring page at me, “Mommy I color, I color!” She had the cutest smile on her face as she launched into my arms at put the page in my face. “Oh Haylie, that’s beautiful, good job!” I said kissing her and setting her down. Enters the 4 year old, who always has something to say to me, “That’s not coloring, that’s just scribbles.” Fortunately Haylie not only wouldn’t understand the derogatory undertones, she was busy looking for her shoes. I was little taken aback, I'm not going to lie… what does it matter, she’s 2 and she’s happy about it? The lioness threatened to roar and protect her little cub, but Jesus threatened, "Lisa, she is four, behave yourself!!" Ok, so Jesus is gentle, I'm sure it was more, "Lisa...remember she is only 4, show her love, not anger." So I just softly said, “That’s ok!” with a smile and went on quietly putting Haylie’s shoes on and grabbing her bag. It’s funny that a child could do that to an adult, Haylie was completely unaffected and continued to be in the best mood all night, but then she’s generally a super happy child. As I think about this moment, I’m sad. Sad, because after talking to another mom who takes her kids there, her daughter was singled out by this girl’s cousin for wearing a shirt to close together, “You’re wearing that shirt again?!” It makes me think of that movie, Mean Girls... and yes, I'm not fibbing, I really haven't seen it. I'm not just saying that, because it would be embarassing to admit it, I honestly haven't seen it, but I totally get the concept. Really, 4 year olds are already acting like snotty teenagers? Since when did mean girls start this early? Was I unaware of this growing up or did this not happen when I was young? And I’m sad, because what kind of parents do these girls have? Do they show them love? Do they teach them how to be nice? It sucks that Haylie will have to go through this, but it’s life, and it's my part in this depressing part of growing up, to teach Haylie that no matter what anyone says or does, that is not who she is. God loves her and He created her to be loving and be a light. I hope my example and my teaching will show her that to be God’s servant you have to stand out and just plain be nice despite the circumstances. To turn the other cheek. May God hold me back when I want to be the helicopter mom, a term I will steal from my good friend, Jenn. The type of mom that swoops in and tries to fix everything and protect them from pain.

Journey of Healing

Our suffering is not meaningless because God has a plan.
- From Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner by Wendy Blight

I cannot tell you how many times, I read that above quote. How many times have you wanted to bury the deep hurts and move on? I know I have, but it doesn't work, does it? You try to plow forward, but that past smacks you in the face every time. That is unless you surrender it to God and let Him carry it for you. 

So that brings up another question, a plan for my suffering? What good could possibly come from this plan? I think healing in our pain comes in layers. How many layers? I'm sure there can be less or more depending on the situation and your ability to hand it over to God, but here are a few I have experienced: forgiveness, acceptance, and sharing.

I truly think it would be hard to forgive yourself or someone else if you didn't accept the situation first. If it's already happened, being in denial will surely not help you. Denial will make your life stagnant, you won't move forward. Accept what has happened, cry if you must, no one said you weren't allowed to cry. Then it's time to forgive. Forgive your offender, so God can work on his/her life. God will deal with that person, but if you keep getting in His way, nothing will ever change in your life and that's what is important. And every time that hurt boils up, ask for help from God, you might have to forgive multiple times, and you most definitely will need God's help to find the peace to get past it.

Next comes "spiritual" sharing which is where someone can gain insight and help from your experience. Whether it's one on one or on a grand scale. Letting someone else know what happened, ultimately is healing. Believe it or not, you are not alone. Someone else has been there and if you are in a good place about it, it's time to share, because you can help others with your revelations from God! And that, my friend, is the most powerful level of healing!

If your revelation hadn't delighted me so,
      I would have given up when the hard times came.
   But I'll never forget the advice you gave me;
      you saved my life with those wise words.
   Save me! I'm all yours.
      I look high and low for your words of wisdom.
   The wicked lie in ambush to destroy me,
      but I'm only concerned with your plans for me.
Psalm 119:92-95 (The Message)

God has a beautiful plan for the suffering and trials you have been through. If you let Him, God will take you on a journey of healing that will take that pain and turn into something more meaniful than you could have ever imagined. As the above verse states, God's revelations will save your life! God bless you in your journey and I'd love to talk to you if you need some encouragement!

Coming Out of My Shell

When I was young I was shy, but then the joke in my family is that it's hard to get a word in edgewise, so I suppose being the baby of the family didn't make it any easier. :-) Slowly as I got older it got better. I remember at 22 or 23 though having a feeling of not fitting in at church. It's not that they weren't preaching a good word, it was just when once I got out of high school, there wasn't youth group or the teens ministry I was involved with to do anymore. And I don't know where I got the perception that Bible study was for old ladies, but my 22 year old brain just never thought that was something a 20 year old did. That and I had just graduated college and that sounded like homework.

Until one day my sister visited town and said, "You should go to bible study." What? Bible study? I had been telling her about some of the people I thought were cool and I'd like to get to meet and my sister suggested that maybe, just maybe they also went to bible study. And besides you might get to know people at church a little better and a little deeper.

Hmm... something to ponder. I didn't go right away, but I was happy that I did eventually go. I grew tremendously in my faith and I met some pretty spectaculer women and made life long friendships. Finding ways to connect with your fellow church goers is so important. It helps build the church family and it makes church so much more meaniful the better you know the people who go there. I'm glad I came out of my shell and tried something new.

Like a Child

Matthew 18:3 (NLT) Then he said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven."

I recently read Heaven is for Real by Todd Burpo (click here for info on the book). If you haven't read it, I seriously suggest that you do. It's about a little boy who goes to Heaven during an emergency surgery. The most endearing part of the book is as the boy, Colton recalls his memories of Heaven.

I was so humbled by reading this book. Here this boy so excitely believed everything and bodly told the story. Would I be so forthcomthing and so bold about a similar experience? Being a believer and having read the Bible, I wouldn't doubt, but would I be afraid of what others thought? Am I afraid of what others think of me about my personal testimony? Do I boldly proclaim my faith in a room of unbelievers?

What does faith like a child look like? Strip away the doubt. Take away all the fear of what others think and just live, live for God, live for the purpose He created you for. Go back to the days when Santa brought you presents and you couldn't sleep the night before Christmas in anticipation of tomorrow's presents and activities. That is faith like a child. It's no fear, no doubt and extreme excitement for Jesus! If anyone tried to tell you Santa wasn't real, would you have laughed at them and fought for your cause? Well stand up and fight for Jesus! There's not many times in life that someone will tell you to behave like a child.

Love

I have watched you suffer all of your life
And now that you’ll listen, I’ll tell you that I...”

I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love
The love that you never knew
from What Love Really Means by JJ Heller (song)

I love JJ Heller's song "What Love Really Means." The lyrics so beautifully capture people's anguish to feel love from something or someone and how God yearns to show us His love. His real love.

I especially love, "and now that you'll listen, I'll tell you..." Have you ever wondered where God is? Why did this happen? Were you listening? God loves you and He wants more than anything to show you His love.

Did you ever let this verse sink in to the depths of your heart and soul? Read, let it sink in for a minute.

John 3:16 (NIV) For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Reflect on God's love for you this Easter. Think of the above verse. Think of the cross. The cross is the ultimate symbol of God's love for us. Happy Easter and God Bless!

God's Instructions

“Have the people of Israel build me a holy sanctuary so I can live among them. ⁹ You must build this Tabernacle and its furnishings exactly according to the pattern I will show you." Exodus 25: 8-9

I admit at this part of the Book of Exodus, I find myself much like I would have been a few years ago, in one of my college general education requirement courses. You know the ones, you have to take them, some are interesting, some you're just thinking, "oh wow, what's the point?" Heads resting on the hand with the occasional sigh and daydream in the midst.

As I'm reading my One Year Bible, I start getting into the part of Exodus where God is intstucting Moses how the Israeliites are to build the tabernacle. This goes on for quite a few chapters. My brain is starting to wander, when I turn to the next chapter...more instructions!

At this point, I'm paying more attention. The instructions are so detailed, so specific. As I think about all the work that went into this, God's not leaving anything to imagination. I then started to wonder how many times God was trying to get my attention with detailed instructions of my life and I was too busy trying to speed to the end of the chapter.

God has a direction for us, He will lead us where we need to be, but are we paying attention? Are we listening? Or more importantly are we obeying Him?

Endurance for the Race

Romans 5: 3-5  ³ We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. ⁴ And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. ⁵ And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.
 
Endurance is something I can relate to as a long distance runner. I love a long run, am I sick to enjoy that burning feeling in my lungs? Probably. As I run (especially when outside) I feel so close to God, out in the nature He created relying on Him to help me finish the race. With each mile, it just gets harder. In high school, as a cross country runner, I would tell myself, "Ok, make it to the tree or that hill," and as soon as I made it to my goal, I'd make another one and so on. Something to help keep my mind off the task at hand. Before long, I realized how therapeautic it was. On a bad day, I'd go run. The edorphins from running and the quiet to think was just the trick to heal the wounded heart or stressed out brain.
 
As with any kind of exercise, the more you do it, the easier it gets and more you can add on to your routine, or in my case, the more miles you can run. So with life as we face trials, we're running a race, a spiritual race. There's so many wrong ways to handle problems: drinking, drugs, overeating, anger and so on. When we face our problems head on with God by our side, admitting we can't do it without Him, our character builds and each and every trial, while probably just as painful as the last (depending on what it is) can get easier, because when you learn to bring it to Him, when you rest in the Lord of peace, when you "Trust in the Lord and lean on not your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5)," you're not doing the race alone. Instead, God is carrying you the rest of the way.